he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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