Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
