she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
So vagazzling was a success
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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