what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
