Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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