Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
