i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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