it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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