Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
