Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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