i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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