I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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