You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
