Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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