My hair reeks of homosexuality.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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