Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
