Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
