I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
