I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize