Got a toothbrush?
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
