Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
