i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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