that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize