Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
