I puked a lego.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
