dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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