I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize