Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
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