summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
