You can't motorboat a personality
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
