In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
