Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize