Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
