Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
