just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
