I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
