where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
