yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
