try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
