BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
