what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
