Well apparently he's into motor boating.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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