Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I love having hate sex.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
