You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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