I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
