when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i drank out of a bidet.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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