so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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