she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
