i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
