hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
