There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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