Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
