I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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