Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
