At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
this hospital has no fireball
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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