she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I need moral support for this bender
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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