at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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