Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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