I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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