There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize