You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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