dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
