if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
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