Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
