Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
