why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
