So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
