I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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