Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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