I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
