hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
