can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
