is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
