I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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