he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I intend to get homeless drunk
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
